I don't really know anymore. I'm losing interest in pretty much everything lately. I don't really talk all that much since i came back 2 weeks ago to Ft Bragg from being home for 9 days. Towards the end of my time at home i started to realize how much i prefer military people over civilians back home. And i'm tired of certain people and i'm sure i can't talk about that on here cuz i'm sure one way or another it'll come back to bite me in the ass. I don't know, i'm looking for change. We'll leave it at that. Though I'm sure nothing on here makes any bit of sense, and i don't really know why i'm even writing on this thing anymore, xanga is dead but i guess seeing it all for myself helps a little. Fuck it, Vanessa seems to be tweaking out more and more everytime i come home. When i'm home, its great, we have fun, but when it comes time for me to leave, she cries, we sit there for an hour or so til she says bye, then i leave for the 7 hour drive to fort bragg alone while she goes on with her life. Then i finally get back to bragg and i'm tired and grouchy from the drive and we'll talk on the phone for a few minutes then i'll get some sleep and go to work at 6 am and do PT. PT in the 82nd sucks. I am exhausted 9 times out of 10 afterwards. I'll forget to text her good morning or something and something that small will trigger a panic alarm in her mind. She'll text me later in the night sayin something like i'm losing my mind, i'm going insane, or something of the latter. And its true. Lately i havent really talked to her much cuz i just dont have much to talk about. so i dont call. she'll call and ask me whats wrong when she sees i have nothing to talk about. another thing, the other night, when i was watching a movie with my buddy, she calls. I don't say much cuz i'm with my buddy and we're watching a movie, so she out of nowhere snaps, i'm gonna go-bye. i say bye, and we hang up. No 'i love you', just a harsh 'bye'. I said what the fuck was up with that. i'm gonna go, i'm half awake now and i have to go back to work and i'm tired of not making sense. I can't even think straight. I don't know what i want anymore.

Currently Listening Everything's Magic By Angels & Airwaves see related

Well I'm in fort bragg, i head for California for a casualty the 82nd had in Afghanistan. Me and five others carry the casket and fold the flag. TAPS plays and the 21 gun salute occurs, we fold the flag, i present it to my sergeant, he salutes me, he takes the flag, i salute him, he presents the folded flag to the General, The General presents it to the family. So yeah, Should be a hell of an experience.